Submitted by Sabina Hitchen on | 0 Comments
Growing up, if we ever used the word hate (for example, "I hate Susie Snowflakes" or "I hate Mrs. Third Grade Teacher for reprimanding me") it was nearly akin to swearing. Hate is a powerful word, feeling and concept. To this day I try to keep the word and concept out of my vocabulary, but lately it seeped into conversations again as I heard from more than one business owner about the "haters out there" knocking their businesses, ideas, writing, success - you name it.
Often as entrepreneurs we have to toot our own horn - a lot - as we're the ones steering and powering our own ships. Often we march to the beat of our own drummers, as it's this beat that beckoned us to leave the "normal" work week and venture into the unknown, to launch our own venture. This same part of us that leads us to exciting and great things, also often leads to "haters". Whether from jealousy, misunderstanding, not understanding, ignorance or their own unhappiness, it's rare that success isn't accompanied by not so nice messages or conversations whispered about you, that are often relayed to you through the grapevine.
There has not been one client we've ever worked with over at Red Branch PR who, when beginning to experience a moderate to higher level of success, hasn't come to us lamenting about former friends and even family who begin to complain about their job, their "new personality", the entrepreneur's lack of time for others, accusations of "developing an ego" or even having people who don't know them or what they do attack them for one reason or another.
So what do we do? How do we respond? Interestingly enough two conversations popped up in my day today that addressed just that, and I'm going to share them with you.
The first is from Kiri Blakeley, writer for Forbes and author of Can’t Think Straight: A Memoir of Mixed Up Love, who has been experiencing this type of hate first hand ever since her memoir became a hot topic in the press, and she wrote about it for Forbes. Though outlets from the Today Show to AOL to Joy Behar were kind, Kiri was labeled "really dumb" by a blogger, a "slut" by the Library Journal (Sabina's note: can you believe people think that is appropriate?!) Even her next-door neighbor turned on her. Kiri reflected on this, and the thought process that got her out of feeling bad about, well, feeling hated in THIS article. She actually pulls from Kurt Cobain for her lesson, which in her own words can be summarized as "... I’d rather be hated for what I am than loved for what I’m not." I agree Kiri!
The second answer to this common quandry came to me from one of my favorite entrepreneur's, Russell Simmons, by way of my business partner. In his autobiography Russell talks about all the people who have talked negatively about him throughout his career which he sums up in his lessons with the advice, "Let your haters be your best PR". Amen to that! When they're busy talking about you to anyone who will listen, your "haters" are saying: This person is worth talking about (a lot) and here is what they are doing XYZ". The more they talk the more people will hear your name and what you're up to, and if they are worth it they will be able to assess your character, product, idea or service on their own!
We all hope that as we travel along our entrepreneurial journey, the marathon race that is small business, we'll be flanked by positive encouragement and support but at times that won't always be the case. Hopefully when those moments do pop up you'll remember what Kiri, Kurt and Russell remind us of and let it fall by the wayside. You have no time for that hate anyways!
