Pitch Makeover: Yoola Designs Product Pitches Get Tweaked & Discover the Power of the Root Pitch

The act of pitching can be one of the most daunting and frustrating parts of a DIY PR campaign for a small biz owner.  In fact, creating the "perfect pitch" can be a stressful situation for full time publicists as well, so cut yourself a little bit of slack small biz owner! That said, at Tin Shingle we're always trying to find new ways to make the buzz building process easier on you, which is why we're super excited about our new content series created to do just that:  the Pitch Makeover series.  In this series we'll randomly select pitches sent to us by small biz owners like you and make the over, highlighting the changes we made in it so you can learn from mistakes you may be making, and use them as a model for creating your future pitches.

Today's pitch comes to us from Yael Falik, the founder and chief designer of Yoola Designs a company that makes stunning, crocheted wire jewelry, as well as provides custom pieces, jewelry making kits and more.  One glance at her work and you'd think magazines would be clamoring for Yael's pieces for their accessories spreads, gift guides, bridal stories and more, yet she was sending out pitches and barely hearing anything back in response. She sent us some examples of the pitches she'd been writing and our Pitch Makeover Team was on the case!

First, check out her original pitches Below!  She wrote a pitch for fashion press, bridal and for a gift guide. 

Now let's get our makeover on.  Here are some changes we decided had to be made to get this pitch read and hopefully, get Yael some more attention and press:

Changes to be Made:

• Subject line: make it more clear, captivating and direct.  The original versions were a bit vague and didn't draw us in.  We changed them for each pitch to speak to who Yael was and what she was offering.  The Subject line is the first moment that the person you’re pitching connects with you and your brand.  Sure you want it to be enticing, but if it’s “too clever” or not crystal clear to an outsider (outside of your biz that is) what you’re talking about, they’re less likely to open it.

• Introduction: After a greeting and hello (good for Yael for including this, many people don't), we got right to the point about who she was, what she does and why she was writing.  Remember, for all of the pitches Yael created she is basically promoting her products, just to different type of stories.  That means the person she is pitching is interested in learning about her product and why their readers may be interested in it, and learning this right away. Some of Yael's original copy was artistically minded but not really clear on her brand or intent, and an editor or reporter has such little time, they want the scoop fast and clear.

• Once you give them the facts, you need bullets!  Bullets are every pitch's best friend and allow Yael (or any biz owner) to share the unique features or "must knows" about their product, in a way the eye can digest and see easily.  These bullets will probably be similar for every type of pitch you create for your product, so you can always start with a set list, and then tweak them depending on the outlet you're pitching.  It should always include your offerings (you can describe your collection or link to specific parts of it for them to see more), your materials, your pricepoints, where people can buy and any other details that will make people say WOW and YES.  We also included a little bit about Yael herself in the bullets, because though she isn't the subject of the pitch, a little bit about the designer - especially one with an interesting story like Yael's - is a must!

• Though Yael didn't do it on her pitches, let me caution you on hyperlinking in your pitches or putting any links in that don't have clear destinations (for example saying, "I think you'll love what you see here" followed by a link).  People won't click on hyperlinks from people they don't know, which could mean they say no to you before you even show them your stuff!

• Images are major to a brand like Yael's, though in her first set of pitches she only uses one or two images embedded in each pitch, which is too small a glance at her depth and range as a designer.  We knew she could show off visually better than that, so we made a collage of pieces all within one image to really share her collection.  We added in a more clear and larger image of pieces she created (to get them excited) and used Fotor to do this (it’s free and easy).  If you aren't sure about how to use images correctly in your pitch (an without attachments) read this here!

• We always sign of with a subtle call to action inviting people to check out the collection, mentioning that we'd love to work together, so forth.  We did this in Yael's as well, to keep the ball rolling for her!

But wait, there's more!  As you may have gathered from Yael's pitches and our responses, she's actually in need of first perfecting just one product pitch - a "Root" product pitch, as she can then use that pitch to work from for any type of specific product pitch. In other words, use the Root Pitch and spin it into a Bridal Pitch, a Gift Guide pitch, etc.  You just have to tweak a bit of the copy of the Root Pitch.  We did this for Yael by creating a root pitch for her accessories outreach, then creating a bridal and gift guide pitch off of that...

CLICK HERE TO SEE HOW WE TRANFORMED THE PITCHES

Want to submit your pitch for our Pitch Makeover Series?  Email info@tinshingle.com!