I had a whole post written in my head about my week last week, which really wasn't that bad a week, but left me in an exasperated  state. I've had worse weeks, like when my kids had a 4 day fever coupled with asthma, nebulizers and doctor appointments, leaving me 2 weeks behind. I wanted to confess here that I considered giving up, that running two businesses and two kids might not work out.

Ironically, once that thought entered my head, I had no time to think about it. Life kept moving forward. The horrific NYC nanny story made it to my email inbox (I barely watch the news because I'm working through todo items from my inbox), which, by the time you read this, you may not know what it is, but consider it my own reality check of gratitude and embracing the chaos. I'd rather have chaos and obstacles than nothing (ie no kids), or no reason for the chaos and obstacles to happen. I quit my pitty party, eraced my pouty Facebook post about it, and solderied on.

In my mix is my little sister's wedding in Chicago the following Saturday. I'm in NY and am hosting a bachelorette dinner in IL on Thursday. I don't need to do anything except make the reservation (done), send the e-vite (done), and I wanted to make her a tiarra. I had time. It was Saturday. I usually try to work Saturday mornings, hearding my kids to my husband. As I was doing this, Hurricane Sandy blipped into my reality. This (if you're reading this later), was a massive hurricane that I'd been ignoring. But my cousin who is a meteorologist sent me an email of warning (see...if it's not in my email inbox, it doesn't exist). I was flying to Chicago on Wednesday, and he warned against it. The storm was scheduled to hit NY on Monday.

Enter in new obsticle: the tierra has to make it to Chicago by 1pm today (Saturday) because by Monday, the USPS and everything else could be closed, and I might not make it to IL at all. I must make the tierra in the morning time I'd slated to work. The Doubts and Guilt about building wonderful companies entered my head again, but I ignored them.

By 1pm, the tierra was found and shipped (found one at my kids consigment store). I was still midly freaking out about how to travel to Chicago. I was flying alone with a baby and a toddler, and my husband joining us later. At first I feared the normal flight, but now I feared getting stuck in an airport. The rest of the day was spent fretting, until someone suggested that I drive (I love my Nissan Quest, so I really have no problem driving). I began to pack, feeling again like I was throwing my career away and over-reacting to "the now" moment.

Enter in new obsticle: I'd lose work days because I'd be driving Sunday, staying with parents Monday and Tuesday (who are working and planning weddings), driving Wednesday, and doing wedding stuff Thursday and Friday. But I got in the car on Sunday with my kids and dog and drove.

And here we are Tuesday. The storm hit NY and NJ pretty hard. Everyone lost power. It reached OH, actually, and our power flickered.

Lesson: I made the right choice. At least I have power.

I called our daycare to let them know that my daughter was out for the week, and they let me know that they were actually closing early today. Who knows about Wednesday.

Lesson: I wouldn't have had daycare anyway, had i not hit the road and left early.

Big Lesson: What I'm reminding myself of now is that I have a toddler and an infant who is growing quickly. When I had my first child, and I was in the first three months of her life, I actually thought that every day, I would be doomed to pajamas, spitup on my laptop, constant feedings, inability to leave the house because of nap schedules, etc. etc. One day it hit me: "It won't always be like this". I kid you not. That was an actual light bulb that I wouldn't be chained to my bedroom and kitchen forever, never to see my offices again (I have 3 "offices" in my house).

This time, I'm going to that lamp and turning on the light bulb, again and again. I have to remind myself that it won't always be like this. When I read bios of other successful companies, and when I read about the goings on of other brands who are currently trying to build themselves into the next big thing, I have to step away and remember that they typically don't have infants. Even Marissa Mayer who broke a glass ceiling by being hired as a CEO at Yahoo while she was pregnant - she is working at an already huge company with built in support, and a no-brainer hire of an assistent, etc. 

What makes this all work is a business partner who understands, wants to figure out how to make it work, and she and I developing more systems and bringing on more team members to make it all work. It's a good thing, because it forces us to let go of tasks we love doing, but could be done by someone else. Which in and of itself could create another problem: how small business owners sometimes find themselves not doing the things they love because they are doing things to make their original dream of a business survive. But that's another Small Business Diary entry for another day, and I have other exciting things going on! (but if that is your problem, check out the book by fellow ProPreneur members/friends: The Big Enough Company).

Thanks for reading. Later on!

xoxo