When you are dealing with reporters there are sooo many "do's" and "don'ts" that at times it's best to simply let others' examples speak for themselves.
That's why many publicists and brands alike turn to Badpitch.Blogspot.com where they can find examples of what DOES NOT work, and why. You are also able to hear from those receiving the pitches why they don't work. See this pitches on this site as examples of what NOT to do.
To visit Badpitch go to badpitch.blogspot.com/ and check it out for yourself ( and your campaign) !